Northwest ski resorts are desperate to deal with their nemesis: the Pineapple Express.
You know what I am talking about...the current of warm, moist air that brings warm temperatures and heavy rain to the West Coast. The generic name for such features is atmospheric river, but in our region we call it a pineapple express since our atmospheric rivers generally have their roots near Hawaii (see graphic).
But during the last week, faced with potential closure over the profitable Christmas break, some Northwest ski operators have turned to severe and unprecedented measures to deal with the threat. Hearkening back to approaches more appropriate to shamans or voodoo witch-doctors, crazed representatives of various Northwest skiing organizations are shooting, decapitating, and sacrificing pineapples in a display of desperation rarely seen in our region.
Below is a video of the carnage, one not appropriate for the squeamish or those under 18 years old.
Meteorologists generally oppose such interventions regarding unwanted meteorological phenomena, but with recent attempts idealized in popular movies (e.g., Sharknado I and II), one can hardly fault the Northwest ski industry for taking matters into their own hands. I will be the last person to criticize them if they succeed in bring back bountiful snow to our mountains.
Anti-pineapple video games are starting to appear.
And even some foreign governments, concerned about Northwest production of apples, hops, and other food imports, are getting involved, although the measures they are calling for might not be effective.